For the past week, working on my novel has brought a sensation similar to extensive dental work. My 500 word goal, once easy to surpass, has become difficult to come close to.
I stayed up late the other night, just trying to force a few words down, but it was such a struggle. I was exhausted after a hundred words or so. And then something occurred to me that hasn’t yet in the course of writing this novel:
Why don’t I just give up?
What scared me most about the question was not that I asked it, but that it made sense.
Things have gotten hard. Life has gotten busy. My room has become a mess.
I’ve let so many things distract me, fill my time, and take my energy that I have not given myself any space to be creative.
I have filled my time with good things, things that need to be done. But am I making time to do the work I was called to do?
For me, what does this mean? It means I need to be more intentional about how I spend my time. Working part-time from home, I will have to have set hours for work and set hours for writing, and I can’t take from one to give to the other. I will have to set aside moments for house work while still guarding those moments for creativity.
I also need to stop suppressing creative urges just because they are not convenient. For whatever reason, I have stopped carrying around my beloved notebook and I’m seeing how my creativity is suffering because of it. I am not providing a way to capture my ideas. That’s not fair to my work or my sanity.
So no, I am not giving up. I have made it this far and have too many cheerleaders willing to help me along. I can’t ignore either of those things. This novel will get written, but I need to make that a possibility.
Some re-prioritizing is in order.
What about you? When it gets hard to complete something that you’re passionate about, how do you push onward? I’d love to hear so please comment!