Being Single is Not the Same as Being Alone

So I just made it through wedding season. It wasn’t as intense as the last two–the amount of parties stayed in the single digits.

There is something about this time of year that always stir up longing in me. I think it’s the filling out of the RSVP cards. That blank plus-one line taunts me. So often, I delay sending in the RSVP because, who knows, perhaps I’ll run into some Gene Kelly look alike who will fall madly in love with me and want to accompany me to a wedding! I think he’ll want the beef, but I’ll just leave the selection blank and let him choose for himself. And we’ll dance and have a wonderful night and leave dreaming about the wedding we’ll someday have together…

And then some point a couple days before the RSVP card is due, I return to reality and remember that that is not happening, check chicken, leave the plus-one line blank and call it good.

I could let that be discouraging. Heck, sometimes it is. Alright, most of the time it is.

Most of my friends are married, more becoming so each summer. It’s exciting, but it always comes with longing for my own turn one day.

And then that nasty little thought I hate the most seeps in to ruin my day:

What if I die alone?

It’s a lie. I know it’s a lie. Even if I die unwed, I will not die alone.

So far, I have lived a life filled with love. Not only from my heavenly father, but from my wonderful parents and awesome sister. From so many beautiful, talented, and gracious friends. From mentors, pastors, teachers, co-workers. I’ve been so gosh-darn blessed and so often I ignore it.

No, I have not experienced very much in way of romantic love. Yes, that can be sad to me.

But there is still great love in my life.

Being single is not the same as being alone.

I do not live in solitude. I live in community with many many wonderful people. I mean, really, filling out that RSVP card without a date to put on it does not mean I am not loved. Quite the opposite, in fact. I have a friend who fell in love and I gained a new friend in her husband. So now two of my friends are getting married and they loved being in relationship with me enough to invite me to celebrate with them. And at that party, I will enjoy the company of our mutual friends. We’ll laugh and dance and talk about the future lives of our newly-married friends.

If the longing for your significant other has become heavy in this season of summer romance and weddings, do not be discouraged. Recognize that God has you where you need to be on your journey. The loneliness may seem suffocating now, but realize that you are not alone here. For one, I’m here. I can also guarantee you have many friends and loved ones, married or not, who care about you and want to encourage you where you are.

You’re loved, my friend!

Revel in that.

If you would like more reading on singleness, I highly recommend this post from Shauna Niequist. I was greatly encouraged. I ran across it a couple days before I actually sat down to read this post and was excited that the two were going to be live around the same time. I hope her words are refreshing and encouraging!

5 thoughts on “Being Single is Not the Same as Being Alone

  1. So much truth to this! I think one of the best questions I ask myself about this topic is do I want more of Jesus? And if so, then can I trust Him to provide the best path for that to occur (marriage or singlehood)?


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