After that last post, you may have walked away with a question:
“Uh, Lex? How is ‘being present’ a resolution?”
Great question!…I’m still figuring that out.
Aren’t we always trying to figure out where were at and how best to be there? Arrival is a lie, I’m learning. (Except not really, because I’m pretty sure I’m going to arrive at 42. That’s when I’m gonna get the ever-elusive “it”…I hope.)
We so often have these visions of what our lives are supposed to be in some distant yet not-so-distant future and we’re striving for “there.” But what about “here”? What about what’s in front of you right now?
I want to be rooted to here and to now and to invest in what has been placed before me. I’m just trying to figure out what that is.
Three weeks into a new job and new season, I’m still trying to figure out what life looks like, let alone how to dig into it deeper. Here is are a few things I do know:
I want to invest in people
For over a year, I have had a really deep longing and growing restlessness surrounding community. This is my second year of refraining from leading a high school girls small group. That’s a hard thing for me, but I knew when I stepped down that I was being obedient. I am feeling the tug to feel elsewhere, but that call is not quite clear yet.
I have more time in this new chapter and passions that have grown in ways I did not expect. I want to invest in young adult women who are trying to find their footing. I want to see singles thrive in the church, investing in their community in rich ways. I want to see women my age feel empowered to use their gifts to build the kingdom because God does not give us gifts he does not intend to be used, regardless of gender. I want to see women move through college, their job searches, their singleness, their friendships and relations with great purpose.
These are abstract and lofty wants. So how does that come to be?
I have many more shrugs than I do answers, honestly. But I do know that I have so many friends that are in this twenty-something stage of shrugs and I have been given two ears to listen with. I have a table to gather people around to enjoy a meal and each other’s company. I have a heart for books and discussions and love to host. These are just small things, but they are what I have to offer.
I trust fruit comes of our desires and our offerings.
I want to invest in my craft
I finished the first draft of my novel.
This is huge and I’m excited about this, but this is by no means the finish line.
I have taken January off from writing to rest a little, but that doesn’t mean I’m not doing anything. I have been reading like a crazy woman since New Year’s Day and I’m loving it. (Also, if you’re looking for recommendations, the top of my list are this, this, and this.)
Once this month is over, I’ll be printing off the manuscript and reading as a whole for the first time. I’ll start making my edits and preparing it for a string of first readers. I’m excited, but also nervous because this is farther in the process than I’ve ever been. This is further out in the gray reality than I’ve let myself get as an artist. It is risk and that is terrifying, but freeing all at once.
This is an investment in my craft that I am dedicating myself to this year and we’ll see how it goes.
I want to invest in the word
I’m learning there is nothing better I can do for those in my life than to be invest in the word.
The plan is to make regular time for silence and refocusing. To be grounded in God’s higher thoughts than reliant on my lower ones.
This is a year for growing up and giving out. I am so excited to see where it may lead.
What are you striving toward this year?