I am excited to finally share my postcards I wrote over my trip to Camichines. Unlike previously believed, I did not have access to internet while I was down there, so I wasn’t able to post these during my time down there. To be honest, that was probably one of the best things for me–being unplugged. For the rest of the week, I will be posting my thoughts and experiences of the trip. Thank you all for your prayers and support. Enjoy!
It wasn’t until I was being driven to the airport that I was struck with the thought:
What am I doing?
Really.
After preparing for weeks that God would open the doors to make this adventure happen. After my wonderful family members gave support money. After packing and preparation. That’s when the thought came.
What am I doing?
This is going to be hard work and long days and unfamiliar surroundings. Am I ready for this? Do I have what it takes?
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| Waiting to take off for Guadalajara |
Sitting on the flight to Guadalajara, these doubts continued to swim around my travel-addled brain.
What was I doing? Where was I going? Was I even supposed to be here?
It struck me this morning, looking out over the beautiful rural village of Camichines, surrounded by obnoxious roosters and misty mountains. These thoughts have filled my days. Not about coming to Mexico, but about my life.
What am I doing? Where am I going? Do I have what it takes?
This mantra chorus of doubt has been the song my heart has been singing for so long.
Reading Jeremiah 2 this morning, I was humbled by the love God expresses through the scolding of his people. The desire for them to turn back to him, to leave behind the other gods they have been chasing after.
My people have committed two sins:
They have forsaken<span class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(Z)”> me,
the spring of living water,<span class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(AA)”>
and have dug their own cisterns,
broken cisterns that cannot hold water.
My cistern is dry. I am so thirsty, but I have nothing but doubt to draw from.
I have ignored what my father has given me to drink. I have sinned in my self-obsessed search for a future and I have broken my father’s heart.
Sitting here, observing the peace and cacophony of this little rural village, God is inviting me to sing a new song to him. One of trust and confidence in him.
I am on this team for a reason. He has equipped each of us for this work. He desires to me with us here.
Praise the Lord with the harp;<span class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(A)”>
make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre.<span class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(B)”>
Sing to him a new song;<span class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(C)”>
play skillfully, and shout for joy.<span class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(D)”>For the word of the Lord is right<span class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(E)”> and true;<span class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(F)”>
he is faithful<span class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(G)”> in all he does.
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| The rooftop view at sunrise. |
So the new song to replace the song in my heart? I am so deeply loved. The future is not mine to worry about. God has already prepared it for me. In him I strive to trust.
My song for this week? I have nothing to offer but what God has given me. I am here for a small blip. I only a small part of this team. I will give what I have to give and the rest is up to God.
We’ll see what happens next!