How to Pray for Singles

I am so grateful for the vibrate community God has blessed me with. I am surrounded by sisters and brothers in Christ who encourage me creatively, socially, but especially spiritually. God has gifted wise older women to speak truth and provide wisdom during my dark days. He has given me a family who show me grace and forbearance and love daily.

As such, there are many people who know I would like a spouse and who would also like for me to have a spouse. And I think we all know and love some singles that would love to be bringing someone home with them this Thanksgiving, but for many of us, that’s just not going to be the case.

So here is what I have to say on behalf of those just waiting to be asked the question over dinner on Thursday, “So, are you seeing anyone?”

When the answer is “no, not at the moment,” let your answer not be, “Well, I’ll pray that you will!” (And certainly don’t let it be, “Why not?” Seriously. Just don’t.)

Don’t only pray that the singles in your life find a spouse.

Pray that with or without one, they will pursue a relationship with God. Pray that they find encouragement in the word, Spirit, and people of God. Ask that there be fruit in their personal pursuit of holiness.

Pray that they will find a community that builds them up and encourages them to thrive where God has placed them. Pray against feelings of inadequacy, incompleteness, or loneliness in the body of Christ. Ask that they be surrounded not only by other singles pursuing godliness, but also believers in many different season that they may bless and be blessed by the beautiful diversity of the Church.

Ask that in their work, they may find purpose. Pray that in the moments they are discouraged by their job or feel that this is just a pitstop to what God may have next, that they remember there identity does not come from a job title, but from Christ. Pray that they take full advantage of the mission field where God has placed them—wherever their feet end up.

Lament that our church does not always know how to include the singles in their congregation. Pray for your own church in the singles there. Pray for sensitivity on how to welcome those who are not part of a nuclear family into the fray. Pray for leadership that looks to unify a diverse body.

Express gratitude that God does not make all of our journey’s the same! Pray that the singles in your life find contentment and beauty in this as well. Pray that they would seek God’s plan for their singleness. Pray that their longings are met in Christ before they are met in a spouse. Pray that they know they are significant with or without a significant other.

We covet your prayer just as any other brother or sister in Christ would. But I ask that those prayers be for full and missional lives over simply to be married.

Pray A to Z

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Being downright honest here, I’ve felt a lot of tension with the church as of late.

In light of some words and actions of the evangelical body during and after the election, I am really uneasy taking on that label. (Though this great statement from Fuller Seminary has provided some encouragement) I have felt shamed and discouraged, while simultaneously left angry and speechless.

And I have no influence.

As I watch my church become more of a family ministry center, I find that I’m not sure where I, as a single young woman, fit in. I can easily fall for the lie that I have nothing to offer and no place to serve because, somehow, having a husband and children somehow equips you to be a better disciple. I can feel isolated and alone.

I can feel like I have no influence.

I long for things to be made right. I long to have a place at the table, a voice in the conversation. I long for young adult women to know that they are not alone and are valued exactly where God has placed them right now.

I am a knot of wants and desires, but so much of what I long for is outside of my circle of control.

But there’s the thing:

I do have influence. I have the ear of the king.

I have often struggled with prayer feeling passive, but that is a lie! Prayer is the most powerful thing we can do in dark times, when the brokenness closes in, when we are discouraged and our community around us is disheartened and disillusioned.

prayatoz-707x1024Amelia Rhodes book Pray A to Z fell into my hands at the right time. When I was feeling most powerless, this book was an invitation into the throne room.

I am only one woman. I cannot do much. But I can get down on my knees.

Each letter of the alphabet is represented through three prayers of petition and two of praise. Rhodes has covered topics so thoughtfully. So often I would turn to a new section and think that topic didn’t apply to my community, but as I read her description and prayer, God would bring a situation or a need to mind.

As I search for a place to serve my community, I am finding that it is in the quiet moments. It is in those moments of prayer that God pulls me out of myself and reminds me of the needs of those around me.

No, I may not have much influence in a physical sense, but God has still asked me to come to him.

Pray A to Z has been a wonderful tool in my prayer life. You can read more about the book and the original blog series here.

You can purchase your own copy here! This is a great Christmas gift for anyone on your list.