Books – Page 3 – Alexis De Weese

Pray A to Z

Posted on December 1, 2016November 29, 2016 by Lex De Weese in Book Review, Reading

Being downright honest here, I’ve felt a lot of tension with the church as of late.

In light of some words and actions of the evangelical body during and after the election, I am really uneasy taking on that label. (Though this great statement from Fuller Seminary has provided some encouragement) I have felt shamed and discouraged, while simultaneously left angry and speechless.

And I have no influence.

As I watch my church become more of a family ministry center, I find that I’m not sure where I, as a single young woman, fit in. I can easily fall for the lie that I have nothing to offer and no place to serve because, somehow, having a husband and children somehow equips you to be a better disciple. I can feel isolated and alone.

I can feel like I have no influence.

I long for things to be made right. I long to have a place at the table, a voice in the conversation. I long for young adult women to know that they are not alone and are valued exactly where God has placed them right now.

I am a knot of wants and desires, but so much of what I long for is outside of my circle of control.

But there’s the thing:

I do have influence. I have the ear of the king.

I have often struggled with prayer feeling passive, but that is a lie! Prayer is the most powerful thing we can do in dark times, when the brokenness closes in, when we are discouraged and our community around us is disheartened and disillusioned.

Amelia Rhodes book Pray A to Z fell into my hands at the right time. When I was feeling most powerless, this book was an invitation into the throne room.

I am only one woman. I cannot do much. But I can get down on my knees.

Each letter of the alphabet is represented through three prayers of petition and two of praise. Rhodes has covered topics so thoughtfully. So often I would turn to a new section and think that topic didn’t apply to my community, but as I read her description and prayer, God would bring a situation or a need to mind.

As I search for a place to serve my community, I am finding that it is in the quiet moments. It is in those moments of prayer that God pulls me out of myself and reminds me of the needs of those around me.

No, I may not have much influence in a physical sense, but God has still asked me to come to him.

Pray A to Z has been a wonderful tool in my prayer life. You can read more about the book and the original blog series here.

You can purchase your own copy here! This is a great Christmas gift for anyone on your list.

Friday Favorites: April 2016

Posted on April 29, 2016April 24, 2016 by Lex De Weese in Friday Favorites, Lex's World

April Favorites

Something to try: Austin, TX

Earlier this month, a co-worker and I got to go to Austin for a conference. The conference was great, but we also loved getting to explore the city at night. So many quirky shops and great food trucks (food trucks!!!!), I was pretty much in heaven.
I’m looking forward to a girls weekend trip there soon.

Austin at dusk. I snapped this photo while racing across Congress Bridge to avoid watching the bat colony below fly out. I failed. Bats are gross. The capital in the distance is cool though!

Something to click: MOCKINGBIRD

This online magazine has been great source for thoughtful and intelligent discussion. I’ve been really impressed by the diverse voices and great writers that make up the content here. These folks tackle philosophy, current events, literature, Netflix…ya know, the important things.
Check out some of my favorites over the past few weeks here, here, here, and here.

Something to read: SURPRISED BY OXFORD

In my quarter-life crisising, I’ve been playing with the idea of starting a masters. Most of that was inspired by this wonderful memoir. Carolyn Weber recounts her first year of grad school at Oxford University—where she just so happened to encounter Christ. Equal parts thoughtful, funny, and just downright smart, I could not put this book down. And am still trying to figure out if I could get into Oxford…on someone else’s dime. (Or quid, as it were.)

Something to watch:Upstairs Neighbors

If you’re living in a small apartment with loud neighbors, this is what is happening. Glad YouTube could solve the mystery for you.

Something to listen to: LORD HURON

This was one of the best concerts I’ve been to. Saw them in October and am still geeking over it.
I’ve been hearing their music everywhere as of late and they are on the roster for all the major festivals this year, and yet so many people I know have not heard of them.
The band’s front man is telling a multi-medium story through not only the music, but music videos and even a comic book. Such brilliant artistry and just plain great music.

Friday Favorites: March 2016

Posted on April 1, 2016March 28, 2016 by Lex De Weese in Friday Favorites, Lex's World

So I am aware that today is April, but like a fool (see what I did there), I totally forgot to publish this last Friday…And you can’t post a Friday Favorites post on any other day. That’d be weird.

So March was reading month and I took advantage of it to take some books off my reading list and add some to it. Here is the fruit of that labor:

1. A Prayer Journal—Flannery O’Connor

Flannery is way out of my league, but if you want a mentor on the written word through the written word, she’s the way to go.
For Christmas, my sister had picked up my subtle* hint that I wanted a copy of the short story master’s prayer journal and I’m so thankful she did.
O’Connor shows beautiful vulnerability and insecurities that are easily echoed by so many writers. I read this in one sitting and loved it.
*By subtle, I mean I sent an email with accompanying Amazon links. I’m smooth like that.

2. Me Before You—Jojo Moyes

I am not a romance fan, but I love a good love story…and a candy read in the airport. I’m headed to Austin in a few days and wanted something simple and fun for the travel. I started this a couple days ago and think this will really fit the travel bill.
I would also like to say that I am bringing along a favorite literary journal to save face among the Austin hipster set…

3. Restless—Jennie Allen

I bought this book a while back to read with a friend for two reasons: 1.) The title said it all when it came to what we were feeling in our opposite life stages and 2.) The internal design is really great*.
…But then we got too busy between her two kids and my unpredictable work life to actually read the book together. I dusted it off earlier this month and have appreciated what I’ve gleaned so far.
*Maybe you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but you can judge it by the internal design. And who are we kidding—you can totally judge a book by its cover!

4. The Dark Sea of Darkness—Andrew Peterson

The title says it all.
…And if the title doesn’t say it all, here’s a little more: This is the first book in the Wingfeather Saga by Andrew Peterson (who is also a musician). It’s a fabulous children’s series and a modern classic. It features quirky creatures and great dialogue and a completely original world. And who doesn’t need a good middle-grade read?…as a mid-twenty something…don’t judge. You know this is the one recommendation on this list that interests you the most.

5. On Beauty—Zadie Smith

I’m attending the Festival of Faith and Writing later this month at Calvin College*. Zadie Smith is one of the key note speakers. I found this book at a fantastic bookshop in Battle Creek a couple weekends ago and am hoping to polish off this novel before the conference. It’s a little more arty than I tend toward, but I’ve often felt that way about books I’ve picked up at the festival and they’ve always ended up being some of my favorites.
*No, I don’t get a pay raise for mentioning them…that’d be nice though…I think the blog might take an unfortunate tangent for a while…

What books have pulled you through the month of March? Any recommendations I should keep an eye out for? I’d love to hear about them in the comments below.

Fitzgerald and the Wish-Dream

Posted on March 14, 2016March 14, 2016 by Lex De Weese in Book Review, Reading

I have been auditing a class this semester as 1) a trial-run for a masters program and 2) a new outlet to chase my obsession with the expatriate modernist writers. It’s a class centered on American lit from the reconstruction period up to the start of World War II.

Since I’m auditing, I don’t have to do the class work outside of the readings. As such, I don’t get to write the papers (because I’m that person.) While reading The Great Gatsby this past week, I’ve had some musings that may not be totally up your alley, but I have a point. Trust me, I do.

In reading the book for the third time, I have to say it is a pretty damn near perfect novel. If you have not read Fitzgerald’s bird-flip to the jazz age, I highly recommend it. (March is national reading month, after all.)

The descriptions, the symbolism, the balance, the prophetic nature—the heaviness of graceful prose. I cannot wax enough.

What really strikes me though is his grasp on reality in the midst of what could be. He gives it all away on the second page of the novel:

No—Gatsby turned out all right at the end; it is what preyed on Gatsby, what foul dust floated in the wake of his dreams that temporarily closed out my interest in the abortive sorrows and short winded elations of men.

This is his thesis. This dust in the wake of dream—it’s what each of the characters are caught up in. It’s what Fitzgerald is finding himself surrounded by. It’s where many of us find our lives headed.

You see, Gatsby—and I believe Fitzgerald to an extent—was chasing a wish-dream. The novel rides the tension of the fantasy Gatsby has created to live in reality and the reality that cannot keep the fantasy alive.

I think Fitzgerald was exploring if the wish-dream of his time. Was avoiding the heavy despair of the war with the gayety and whimsy of the twenties sustainable? Could the party and the money and the booze last forever without consequence?

But we all know what goes up must do something.

The characters are all avoiding consequence in one capacity or another. They run from mourning, or refuse to accept loss, or simply just want to think of nothing but their own pleasure for however long they can. Fitzgerald chases his suspicion that this cannot be maintained.

Gatsby was published in 1925, four years before the stock market crash—before the roaring twenties came to a roaring halt. But the novel was written like he knew all along.

Because we all know that when we avoid the heaviness, when we cover our brokenness, when we never take the chance to mourn, that it all begins to come crashing in. The wish-dream is not all it appears to be and by avoiding consequences, new ones emerge.

To embrace when we’ve lost, to accept what is, rather than trying to continually rev the engine of our car despite the missing wheel—it’s necessary. It’s hard by healthy.

In this life, we do not get the dream. We do get a chance to embrace what is in front of us with grace and courage. We get the chance to risk in what is, rather than hide in what could be. And as I believe Fitzgerald realized too late, we are the better for accepting that.

As Fitzgerald mourns a lack of nobility in his world, we can find that that kind of courage is still available to us. But are we willing to accept was is?

The Sexual Content Threshold

Posted on October 20, 2014December 29, 2015 by Lex De Weese in Lex's World

I bought a book this summer and was quite excited about it. It was a time travel novel taking place between modern day New York and regency-era England. Like really, does it get better than that?

In the first third of the book, it didn’t seem to. The book was interesting, the characters awesome, the plot shaping up nicely. I was quite a fan and had trouble putting it down.

The time streams of the male and female leads collided (as they should. Got to keep things interesting right?) The chemistry was fun between the characters. I was interested to see how things would unfold between them. I mean, obviously they would end up together, but they were on opposite sides of the time-traveling underworld. It was a classic forbidden love set-up in a weird Jane Austen sci-fi mash up. The author had my wrapped attention!

And then things took a terrible turn as I discovered the truth about the book.

It was *gasp* a kissing book!

I’ll be the first to admit that I love a good love story. But a love story and a romance novel are two very different things. Let’s be clear on that, And a lot of the difference has to do with the intent in which it was made and consumed and the sexual content of the piece.

Suddenly in this wonderful story, the plot was being interrupted unexpectedly with a make-out session in the woods. In the rain. I am not kidding.

There was no lead up. The characters had just met a scene before. They were both from the conservative regency-era. There was nothing in their characters to lead to steamy scene complete with “desire” and “throbbing.” It felt like it was there because the writer thought the reader wanted it. Not the characters.

There were so many specifics, that I had to skip some portions–something I’m not prone to do.

And I understand that it is for this experience that some people turn to books. I was just disappointed that such a wonderful story was traded in to give in to misplaced desire.

A great plot was sacrificed to include what other books have embraced to sell more copies. I felt cheated.

Suddenly the characters were not the people I was getting to know and care about. They were eratic caricatures of sexual organs, Their cause was no longer so important. The balance of time and space and good and evil were secondary to these sleeping habits of characters. The truth and humanity was cheapened because sex is what is selling books.

I cannot say if this choice was purely the authors or if there was pressure from the publisher, but I was saddened, I was disapointed. And I at last found the threshold between a love story and emotional porn.

I am okay with a book having sexual content even though I don’t agree with premarital sex. It’s still out there, part of lives and I don’t expect people let alone characters to adhere to my personal convictions.

It is when they use the word ‘nipple’ that I begin to feel uncomfortable. It is adding a specific. It’s makes me visualize something I don’t really wants to. Forces me into the experience mentally and emotionally.

When things are hinted at, I can easily glance over them. It does not add to or take away from the plot. It is when specificity is at the forefront that things take a turn my mind does not want to take. And this is becoming more popular among books for adult women. There used to be a difference between adult fiction (fiction for adults) and adult fiction (porn). Now adays? Not so much.

So I raise this question: Why is it so hard to escape this? Why can we not separate a love story from a sex story? And why can’t a story have sex that isn’t laid bare in gory details? And why are we satisfied with every detail when all it does is tell a lie?

I guess this post is more rant than anything else. (Sorry about that.) I just wish more for the writers of this generation. I want us to be telling stories with truth. Not stories that hold back nothing while still feeding the reader a load of shit.

Readers deserve better. And I as a reader–not a writer–am asking for better,

The Need to be Undone

Posted on September 29, 2014December 29, 2015 by Lex De Weese in Lex's World, Spirituality

I haven’t really felt like myself lately. I’ve been on edge, a little worried, and fairly high-strung. I’ve been a working machine with not a lot of social interaction.

It’s been wearing on me. (Yes, I’m an introvert, but quality time is my top love language… I’m a bundle of paradoxes…)

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but I won’t get to bask in that light until the end of the month, It’s discouraging.

And don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful for the blessings of this season. But every season has its blend of good and hard.

This weekend, I was told the story of a dear friend’s hard struggle. Some of my family members have suffered some strange and unexpected losses. A new friend had to say goodbye to an important voice in his life. Two of my best friend’s lives have taken unexpected turns in a way neither of them anticipated.

There is a heaviness in joy.

And I’ve been hearing about all of this from a distance in the midst my foggy cycle of work and sleep.

Today, feeling these tensions and worries weighing on my heart, I took some time to decompress at my favorite book shop. I picked up a couple titles with one deep craving at the front of my mind.

I wanted to be undone.

I’ve wanted to read a book that leaves me breathless. I want that novel that when it’s finished, I have to just sit for a long while and ponder what mastery I just took in.

I’ve had this experience before.

The longing for this kind of story has become more intense as my workload has begun to take over my life and I’ve had to put other things aside to accomplish my tasks.

God has been so faithful in the midst of this new stage. He is holding my hand in the middle of lots of changes and new experiences. I am thankful. Please Please do not discount my great gratitude for where I am. I am also tired.

I have lost a spark. A little bit of myself. My soul had been a little drier and my heart a little less passionate and at the end of the day, I think on this and am wearied,

Because here is the thing:

I haven’t written over a month. I haven’t read any fiction in even longer,

And as such, I have not been myself for a few weeks now.

I’ve been neglecting a part of my heart in which was wired to thrive.

I’ve been wanting to be undone. I’ve been looking for a story to suck me in, hold up a mirror to my heart and the world. I’ve been looking to be convicted; I’ve been looking to be ruined. Ruined by characters and words; metaphors that cut me to the quick with their beauty and honesty.

What’s the deeper reality of that longing?

I’ve been looking for God to do the same.

My heart has been longing for time with my Father. Time I’ve neglected in the business of the newness of my life, I’ve felt that longing for a while now and it wasn’t until I began to seek out the longing that I began to realize how much I’ve been missing that extended time in the quiet. Almost more than my time with good story. I’ve been missing being part of a bigger story.

Maybe you don’t get this, but I hope you do.

So often when we’re busy, we neglect interests, relationships, the cleanliness of our homes, the pursuit of our loved ones. Mostly the first thing I tend to cut out when I’m busy is quality time with God,

As a result, I am more worried, less trusting, less open, less loving. I am not myself. I am an empty shell with a misappropriated sense of longing.

So I’m wrestling with God in this.

And I’m now armed with some books as well.

I hoping God and I can continue to move toward a balance as I move forward in this work-heavy season.

I’m trying to make the time for him to undo me on a daily basis. To fill my longings and prepare my heart for what’s ahead. For it’s in the undoing of my striving and worrying and selfishness that things start to be made whole.

It’s in the undoing of myself, that I begin to put my relationship with God and my relationships with others in their right place.

I pray that you find time for your own undoing, my friend. And in that, may you find what it is to be whole.

Book Review: Flame of Resistance

Posted on June 24, 2013December 29, 2015 by Lex De Weese in Book Review, Reading

I’ll admit it with pride: I don’t like Christian Fiction.

I’m a Christian who writes, but I don’t feel called to write fiction that is Christian and there are very few pieces in the genre I can stand to read. But, on occasion, there is a gem of a book that I cannot put down.

One author in the Christian Fiction genre I have really come to respect is Tracy Groot. She has written My Brother’s Keeper, Stones of My Accusers, and the 2007 Christy Award Winner in the historical fiction category, Madman. Well, now she’s done it again with her historical fiction novel, Flame of Resistance and is nominated once more for the Christy Award.

The Christy Award is given to Christian Fiction writers who have written outstanding work in their genre. It is given every year in seven categories ranging from contemporary romance to young adult. It’s kind of a big deal. This evening, the 2013 awards will be presented and Flame of Resistance is a worthy contender.

Flame of Resistance is set in German-occupied Normandy on the brink of D-day in 1944. The story centers around three characters – Tom, Brigitte, and Michel. Tom is a downed US fighter pilot who looks like the quintessential German soldier. Michel, the leader of a French resistance cell, can’t help but recruit Tom for his plan. Brigitte is a prostitute who wants to do whatever it takes to shed her reputation and become a hero for her country.

Tom embarks on his undercover mission with Brigitte as his contact and their relationship and what they discover will change the trajectory of the war. This unconventional retelling of Rahab is a beautifully written and exciting piece of historical fiction.

Groot writes a wonderful, character-driven piece through a thorough and intriguing setting. Though the pacing starts out slowly in the first hundred pages, she gives a big pay off in both high tension and action. You’ll recognize the tipping point when you get there and won’t regret the wait.

Flame has one of the most satisfying endings I’ve read in a long time. I promise I won’t put down any spoilers, but as I was reaching the end, I felt as if I was tearing through pages. Some moments in shock, others in sadness, but most in awe. It takes a lot for me to become emotionally invested in a book. My roommates can testify, I was almost too emotionally involved in this one. I would wander about our room, book in hand, mumbling forlornly: “Nazi’s are mean!” But seriously, she understands how to make a narrative work on multiple levels, understanding what the reader wants, when to give it and when to withhold. The way Groot ties up her loose ends and interweaving plot lines left me thinking over it for weeks following. Some of the character’s fates were not necessarily what I wanted, but as I thought over what was written, it was what was needed. Beautiful piece of fiction that I would recommend to anyone.

If you’re looking for something to read this summer, you need to run out and grab Flame of Resistance. Local Grand Rapids bookstore, Baker Book House has it for $5. If even that is not incentive enough, I’ll give you two words: camembert scene. After you’ve read that, you will thank me, I promise.

Best of luck to Tracy tonight. I’m rooting for Flame and after you read it, I know you will be as well!

xo,

– Lex