Lex’s World – Page 5 – Alexis De Weese

Made for Elsewhere

Posted on February 21, 2017February 21, 2017 by Lex De Weese in Lex's World

Being honest here. Being embarrassingly, shamefully honest: I expect a lot out of a new article of clothing.

There is a small part of my mind that thinks (and I wish I was not telling the truth here!) that maybe with the right jeans, or dress, or shoes, maybe everything will finally be okay. Maybe with that new pencil skirt, I’ll find professional fulfillment. Maybe with the right cut of jeans, he’ll ask me out. Maybe the perfect heels will actually satisfy.

And I know I’ve discussed this a little before, but just because I wrote about it doesn’t mean I solved it.

Here’s what I know: the lies we believe manifest themselves differently in different stages of life. I may feel more secure in my appearance, but there were other insecurities that were able to take a front seat in its place as soon as that began to vacate.

My good friend Bruce was right on when he sang that we all have a hungry heart.

We all have that thing. Yours may not be clothes. Yours may be attention, or food, or relationships, or travel. We all have something in our lives that we are trying to make satisfy that aching place.

Folding my laundry this week, I looked at the tangle of warm jeans and had to shake my head. This was just fabric. It is incapable of doing anything but covering my body. It provides nothing but warmth.

Nothing on this earth is meant to satisfy my insecurities or desires. Nothing is going to bring the level of satisfaction I ache for. Nothing is going to assure me that I’m beautiful or worthy of love.

Certainly a pair of jeans isn’t going to do any of that.

One of my favorite quotes from C.S. Lewis is

If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.

We ache for so much that will never be experienced this side of heaven. We battle brokenness daily. Seasons of darkness can weigh so heavily. We were not made for here. We were not made for this insecurity and toil and pain.

We were made to be satisfied and secure. To be completely fulfilled. To be happy.

For everything we will not have here, we do have love. We are so completely and incredibly loved. And it is because of that love that we can experience fulfillment, security, and happiness.

But only from the source—Jesus Christ.

I have gone for too long feeling like food didn’t taste as good as it could, relationships were not as fulfilling as they should, conversations were not as satisfying as I wanted. Everything was falling short.

And everything should be falling short.

It is only when I am seeking my fulfillment in Christ that life is put in its proper place. I am able to give to my relationships and receive all that is there. I am able to be fully engaged in conversations. My work is satisfying in a proper way. My clothing takes a proper place as mere material.

When we are rooted where we were meant to be, life takes on the deep meaning it was meant to have. We serve out of confidence and security. We give out of a pure heart and generous spirit. We love out of humility and selflessness.

Bible College Spinster: Happy Valentines Day!

Posted on February 14, 2017February 14, 2017 by Lex De Weese in Lex's World

I’ll be honest, I used to hate Valentine’s Day.

I remember sitting in the library in college one Valentine’s night, watching from a window as couples exited campus for fabulous and devastatingly romantic dates. (It should be noted that these dates were probably not what I would actually define as fabulous. It may have consisted of some combination of RedBox, Biggby, and/or Buffalo Wild Wings, all of which are not how I necessarily wanted to be wooed then…or now, let’s be real. I’m a snob. I’ll own it.)

Feeling like my life was neither fabulous or devastatingly romantic, I would usually spend the holiday in a cloud of self-pity.

So no wonder I hated the day!

And finally I got sick of the annual pity party. If I was significant with or without a significant other, then Valentine’s Day was just as significant for me as it was for any other person. If I wanted to feel special on this Hallmark holiday, then dagnabit, I was going to!

So here’s what I do:

I create my own little introvert heaven. I take a long, hot bath and use all the good soaps and a facemask. I put on my favorite pjs fresh from the dryer. I get a new nail polish and enjoy an unabashedly girlie movie while giving myself a manicure. Top off the night with dark chocolate and wine and I’m one happy, pampered girl.

Every year, I look forward to that time to relax, take a step back, and to just rest.

Here’s the heart of it:

No one but Christ can dictate your worth. Not a significant other, not a dozen roses, not a fancy night out. Whether you find yourself with plans today or not, you are a valued and loved image bearer. A random holiday in the middle of winter has no say in that, nor does an influx or lack-of suitors.

Be kind to yourself today, friends. Know that you are loved more deeply than you can stand. Find a way to care for yourself and be reminded of that love.

On Turning 25

Posted on January 23, 2017January 22, 2017 by Lex De Weese in Lex's World

Today is my 25th birthday.

I’ll be honest with you, I have been dreading this birthday.

I’m sure 25 will be great!

There are already things in the works that have me so excited. I have started a new job with a company I am passionate about in an industry I’ve dreamed of working in. I have booked a flight to Italy with a dear friend and am so excited to have adventures in Umbria and Tuscany. I am exploring conferences and learning experiences. I have a great pile of books to work my way through. I have finished the first draft of my novel and am resting for the month before I tackle edits.

This is a season rich and rife with possibility.

And still, until recently, I was dreading this day.

My parents got married when they were twenty-five.

As a kid, I just thought that was the age at which one got married. Like going to Kindergarten at five. Or getting an American Girl doll at eight. (I basically thought everything happened by age and it was all a right of passage. What can I say, I’m a sucker for structure…)

I did eventually learn that this was not the case in life. Everything happens within God’s timing—I really do trust that. It’s just that from a young age, I thought life would look really different.

My good friend—and now boss—was telling me about a blog post she read that unpacked the ridiculousness of a bucket list. This inspired my friend to make a 50 before 50 list.

She showed me the pages of her notebook filled with things she always wanted to experience, or learn, or accomplish. Things she no longer wanted to do “someday” but wanted to make time and space for in the coming years.

I loved reading and seeing how this breathed new life into the season ahead. I wanted some of that.

In the past few weeks, I’ve been jotting down ideas for my own list—my 30 before 30. And It’s all over the map (sometimes literally), but it’s made me really excited for what God may have ahead in the coming months and years. It ranges from big adventures:

Exploring Italy
Going with friends on a spontaneous roadtrip
Learning to rockclimb

to small pursuits of maturity

Read a Russian novel
Find a workout routine I actually enjoy
Learn to make sushi

and small risks:

Take a dance class
Go for a nice dinner by myself
Learn to give and receive grace

A wise pastor in my life has always called one’s twenties the decade of dreams. Where God has gifted us dreams, there is no need for dread. Dreaming small and big dreams for the half-decade ahead has been a good chance to reflect on ways to pursue Shalom in my life and my community. It was has been refreshing to pray to dream God’s dreams and to think on what brings me joy.

So here I am at 25. I am not married and my long-lost third grandmother did not come out of the woodwork to tell me I am a princess of an obscure but charming European country.

And you know what? I’m really okay. Not just okay, I’m excited.

How are you pursuing joy and growth this year?

Where is ‘Here’?

Posted on January 16, 2017 by Lex De Weese in Lex's World

After that last post, you may have walked away with a question:

“Uh, Lex? How is ‘being present’ a resolution?”

Great question!…I’m still figuring that out.

Aren’t we always trying to figure out where were at and how best to be there? Arrival is a lie, I’m learning. (Except not really, because I’m pretty sure I’m going to arrive at 42. That’s when I’m gonna get the ever-elusive “it”…I hope.)

We so often have these visions of what our lives are supposed to be in some distant yet not-so-distant future and we’re striving for “there.” But what about “here”? What about what’s in front of you right now?

I want to be rooted to here and to now and to invest in what has been placed before me. I’m just trying to figure out what that is.

Three weeks into a new job and new season, I’m still trying to figure out what life looks like, let alone how to dig into it deeper. Here is are a few things I do know:

I want to invest in people

For over a year, I have had a really deep longing and growing restlessness surrounding community. This is my second year of refraining from leading a high school girls small group. That’s a hard thing for me, but I knew when I stepped down that I was being obedient. I am feeling the tug to feel elsewhere, but that call is not quite clear yet.

I have more time in this new chapter and passions that have grown in ways I did not expect. I want to invest in young adult women who are trying to find their footing. I want to see singles thrive in the church, investing in their community in rich ways. I want to see women my age feel empowered to use their gifts to build the kingdom because God does not give us gifts he does not intend to be used, regardless of gender. I want to see women move through college, their job searches, their singleness, their friendships and relations with great purpose.

These are abstract and lofty wants. So how does that come to be?

I have many more shrugs than I do answers, honestly. But I do know that I have so many friends that are in this twenty-something stage of shrugs and I have been given two ears to listen with. I have a table to gather people around to enjoy a meal and each other’s company. I have a heart for books and discussions and love to host. These are just small things, but they are what I have to offer.

I trust fruit comes of our desires and our offerings.

I want to invest in my craft

I finished the first draft of my novel.

This is huge and I’m excited about this, but this is by no means the finish line.

I have taken January off from writing to rest a little, but that doesn’t mean I’m not doing anything. I have been reading like a crazy woman since New Year’s Day and I’m loving it. (Also, if you’re looking for recommendations, the top of my list are this, this, and this.)

Once this month is over, I’ll be printing off the manuscript and reading as a whole for the first time. I’ll start making my edits and preparing it for a string of first readers. I’m excited, but also nervous because this is farther in the process than I’ve ever been. This is further out in the gray reality than I’ve let myself get as an artist. It is risk and that is terrifying, but freeing all at once.

This is an investment in my craft that I am dedicating myself to this year and we’ll see how it goes.

I want to invest in the word

I’m learning there is nothing better I can do for those in my life than to be invest in the word.

The plan is to make regular time for silence and refocusing. To be grounded in God’s higher thoughts than reliant on my lower ones.

This is a year for growing up and giving out. I am so excited to see where it may lead.

What are you striving toward this year?

Counting it all Joy

Posted on January 3, 2017January 2, 2017 by Lex De Weese in Lex's World

During the downtime between jobs, I went with a friend to see the movie La La Land.

I loved it! It’s made in the style of an old movie musical and it’s beautiful and sweeping. The pairing of classic motifs with the story of two struggling artists was relevant and fantastical all at once.

A dance scene in particular struck something in me as I was watching that made me think, “This is it. This is what I want.” I couldn’t even tell you in that moment what “it” was. There was an innocence and an enjoyment that was contagious. There was something there I knew was the intangible something I wanted to carry with me into this new season.

With some further processing, I found what I was craving was joy.

I have been tempted to look at this stage in my life as a “between” stage. Between college and a masters. Between my last relationship and my next. Between dorm room and house. Between singleness and marriage. Now between my last job and the one I start today.

I don’t know about you, but I tend to discount “between”. It’s the middle bits, the commercials, the intermission. The part we rush through to get to what is next.

Guess what this stage is actually not? The between.

I’m not actually between things. I’m in something and I’ve been all too willing to miss that.

No, I may not be where I want to be, but I am somewhere and I am there with great purpose. So why not be there?

There’s a quote I really love that has been coming to mind more and more lately:

Wherever you are, be all there! Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.
—Jim Elliot

You know how I know where I am is the will of God? Because I’m here.

So back to La La Land:

Once the lights came up and the spell of the story had done it’s work, the friend I went to see it with groaned a little, saying:

“It was beautiful, but I didn’t like the ending.”

I could see where she was coming from. (And I won’t spoil it, I promise.) I felt differently about the ending, though.

After the characters thought about what could have been, they decided where they were was where they needed to be.

Joy and presence.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

Joy in trials. Joy in the places we do not want to be. Joy in the places that are uncomfortable, that are unknown, that are unlike where we imagined we would be at this point in our lives.

I want to be rooted here where God has placed me and to find joy there.

This will be hard. There are a lot of things I wish were, but they aren’t. Instead, I am here. And you are in your own ‘here.’

We are all in our specific ‘here’ for a reason that is not for us to know right now. But we are here to have joy and and perseverance. To serve and live fully in whatever He has placed before you.

Count it all joy to be where you are. Here is where the adventure begins.

2016 Media Round Up

Posted on December 26, 2016December 26, 2016 by Lex De Weese in Lex's World

Since my posts have been a little more heavy in nature, I thought it was time for a little fun!

I get pretty reflective at the end of any given year and start thinking through what I enjoyed about that year. Part of that is being a nerd and thinking about the books, music, and movies that made that year.

Ask me about a book I read at any point in time and I can probably tell you where I was and what was happening in my life when I read it. I will listen to a given album on repeat when I love it and it becomes the unintentional soundtrack of that season.

Below is a list of the books, music, movies, and TV shows that defined 2016 for me. Let me know what media formed your year!

Books

The Lies of Locke Lamora – Scott Lynch

This was the book I took to Iceland with me. I was looking for something out of the box that could sustain a distracted airport reader and this totally did the trick.
Think Ocean’s Eleven in medieval space Venice. (Not kidding.)
Lynch’s “fantasy” novel takes place on a fictional planet, but everyone is human and there aren’t a ton of fantasy elements, so this fantasy skeptic was easily onboard. Locke Lamora and his band of thieves are vibrant characters living in a world that feels so real. There is a lot of emotion and intrigue and writing that blows me away. I never knew where the characters would end up or what they would do next which was a rare and exciting thing.

The Bachelor Girls Guide to Murder – Rachel McMillan

This is the cutest book EVER. Seriously. Drop everything and spend the day reading this book.
Think Sherlock Holmes. Then think about Holmes and Watson as two women—Herringford and Watts. Then think about them set in Canada and 1910. For. Real.
Herringford and Watts are two “bachelor girls” in turn-of-the-century Toronto solving crimes and having splendidly imagined adventures. This book is a stand-out in its genre and the writing is so well done.
If you love historical fiction or mystery, I highly recommend this novel.

Restless – Jennie Allen

Picked up this book at Baker because the word “restless” felt really accurate for my life.
How needed this book was this past year. Allen’s words encouraged me to address my fear of surrender and to look deeply at the desires God has placed in my life.
This book is part spiritual direction, part bible study, part journal, all parts awesome. I would love to revisit this book with a group of women just to see what God does through the prompts and big questions posed in this book.
If you’re looking for a study for the new year, consider this one.

Music

Struggle Pretty – Penny & Sparrow

Penny & Sparrow is hands-down my favorite band right now. Their release this year, Let a Lover Drown You is a great exploration of love in all its many forms and is worth the listen, but the album that was really formative this year was Struggle Pretty.
This album became the voice of my worship for a good chunk of this year. Lyricist Andy Baxter and Composer Kyle Jahnke have put together snapshots of the struggle of a faithful walk.
So often when I found myself without words, these songs where the prayers I had left.
…Not to mention that I saw them four times in concert this year and each time was such a great experience. If you’re a fan and haven’t seen them live yet, make it happen!

Hamilton

Yeah. Pretty much.
I was looking for good music to code to this summer and had been hearing a lot about Hamilton from, well, everywhere, and thought I’d give it a try.
Oh. My. Goodness. The music, the writing, the storytelling. It’s history, and hip-hop, and broadway, and every-bit deserving of that Pulitzer, and…Hamilton is all the things, okay?
If I can one day write half as well as Lin Manuel Miranda, I will have not thrown away my shot.
…Sorry. It had to be done.

Movies

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

In February, I had my wisdom teeth out and picked up this favorite to watch as I vegged. In what may have been a drug-induced epiphany, I texted a friend and fellow lover of travel and told her we should go to Iceland. Like, I had paused the movie and priced out flight and lodging and rental car right then and there.
And for whatever reason, she said yes.
Seven months later, we find ourselves traversing fjords, scaling glaciers, and stalking sheep through the single most beautiful place I had ever been.
All because of Walter Mitty.
Great movie about stepping into life’s unknowns and embracing it. It’s a poignant story and is filmed almost entirely in Iceland. Like, I can recognize the majority of the locations in this movie…which is weird but amazing.

TV

Westworld

I watched this latest HBO series* in two days, it was that good.
In the future, this wild west amusement park allows guests to have a fully immersive fantasy experience. This curated world is populated by “hosts,” which are artificially intelligent robots…that are gaining cognizance.
And if that sounds weird, you don’t even know the half of it.
This show has an incredible cast (seriously, Anthony Hopkins, Thandie Newton, Evan Rachel Wood) and splendid scope. It’s dark and thought provoking.
Watching, I was able to wrestle with some great questions about what it means to be created and be a creator. Great storytelling with a dark edge you can’t ignore.
*Please note that, yes, there is some random HBO crap throughout the series. Why is everyone always naked?

Gilmore Girls

Please note that this is NOT the Netflix reboot. This is just the series.
I started rewatching to prepare for the reboot and caught so much more the second time around. It was also really nice to find common ground with so many women excited for the new episodes. Seriously, don’t know what to talk about with someone? Ask if they’ve watched Gilmore Girls. You’ll talk for the next six hours.
But really, those last four words?

With Courage

Posted on December 19, 2016December 19, 2016 by Lex De Weese in Lex's World

I wouldn’t say I’m a particularly courageous person. Never have been.

I spent most of my childhood afraid that ALF lived in the hole in the panelling of my closet. Once my sister and I watched an episode of Urban Legends where a woman died from wearing a dress she purchased from Goodwill, and I was terrified of used clothing for a good stretch of time. During a vacation to Disney World, I refused to ride the Pirates of the Caribbean ride because I had been informed by a kid at school that the boat falls off a 100 foot cliff.

(In my defense on that last one, the movie was a few years out from being made, otherwise, I would have been all over that thing.)

But you get the picture! I was a jumpy kid! I’m just as jumpy an adult, but I’m better at compensating for all my neuroses.

Risk has never been the name of the game for me, but I’ve learned as I begin to wade into this adult thing that it is necessary. Necessary and even healthy.

So when a dear friend alerted me to the fact that my dream job at my dream employer had opened up, I knew I had to make myself apply.

I was well aware that it was a long shot, that I was completely under-qualified, and that I was very much in love with the team of people I got to work with and the purpose we were working toward. But I hadn’t risked in a while.

And…

I didn’t get the job. Didn’t even get an interview. I’m pretty sure the software the HR department used to help prioritize applications took one look at my resume and said, “Well isn’t that precious!” and took me out of the running.

But this opened up a conversation with the company I’ve contracted with as a social media marketer over the last few years.

A month ago I was not looking for a job.

I love my job. For the past two and half years, I have worked at Calvin College. I’ve been a project manager and admissions liaison in their communications and marketing department and it has been a rich experience.

During my time there, the college underwent a rebranding process. Out of that process came the concept that Calvin exists to cultivate courageous wonder. And yeah, I get it if this hits you as irrelevant. It is—at least in the context of the college.

See, I quit my job.

And this scares me.

But I walk away from my job at Calvin equipped with courage and wonder. Courage that what is ahead is where I need to be. Wonder at this beautiful calling God has placed on my life and at the rich and dynamic relationships he has allowed me to build during my time at the college. I am so grateful for every moment.

Throughout scripture, God often asks two things of his people: to not be afraid and to be obedient. These are not easy tasks and they are not things he takes lightly.

But what do we know of those he asked to leave comfort and trust what he had next? Abraham left behind all he had built to go to a land God hadn’t yet reviled to him. Moses decided to go to Egypt despite his fear of public speaking. Esther went to plea before the king, risking her position and even life. Joseph spoke honestly to pharaoh despite having it all go wrong so many times before.

Scripture is full of men and women who gave up the known for the unknown because they were asked to turn from fear and to trust.

Yes, this risk scares me, but I know that God is asking me to step out of the boat and go for a walk.

So what’s next?

I have accepted a full-time position with Apricot Services—a digital marketing firm specializing in tribe gathering and mobilizing for publishers, small business, and non-profits. I have always dreamed of working in publishing and this opportunity puts me directly in contact with multiple publishing houses and their marketing departments.

I am excited to partner with authors and help bring their messages to the people who need to hear them.

This is so where my heart is and I am grateful God has opened doors in this way, even though it has happened rather quickly.

So I step out in courage and with gratitude. That’s all I can do.—trust and see.

I don’t quite know what happens from here, but I trust it will be what is needed and that the result with leave me in wonder.

Bible College Spinster: Uncoated, Plain, and Holy

Posted on December 12, 2016November 29, 2016 by Lex De Weese in Lex's World

On the first day of sixth grade, I watched Amber walk into Spanish class and was more than a little surprised. Her once curly hair was now straight. She had turned in her clothes from the girls section for juniors and, well, she had filled them out.

I could not say the same for myself. I was still using a hairbrush after taking my hair out of braids, making it an unfortunate triangle shape…And I’m still not filling anything out…

She was glossy. I was frizzy.

Pretty much the story of my life.

But I think that might be the story of all of our lives.

We prefer to be seen with a gloss over our lives. We pretend in conversations, we cover it with a filter online, we avoid anything that isn’t easy, breezy, beautiful.

It’s much more comfortable and requires much less vulnerability than the alternative.

But I’m really bad at gloss. I’m clumsy and talk too much. I’m neurotic and think too much in social situations—which just makes for too many awkward stories to mention.

But I couldn’t show that. I couldn’t be seen as incompetent, unwanted, or not enough. Somewhere along the line, faking having it together became the name of the game. I was pursuing gloss over substance in the off-chance that the gloss brought fulfillment.

I’m calling it.

My life is frizz, not gloss.

In my line of work, paper makes a difference. I have co-workers who have to think consciously about the kind of paper we print things on. (Stick with me, I have a point!)

I have found that I tend to like when things are printed on uncoated paper. It feels flat, sturdy, and real. It’s just the ink and the paper and the result is beautiful.

Glossy paper feels oily and can’t be touched, lest you leave your fingerprints on it. Sometimes the sheen makes it hard to read, and, to be honest, it’s a little outdated.

And isn’t life this way?

We cannot keep up with untouchable gloss. We weren’t made that way. We can’t fake who we are, at least not for long.

We were created to live uncoated, plain lives. Taking the risk to be who we are and bloom where we are planted.

When I am insistent on being seen through gloss, I loose sight of who I am and what my purpose is. I become really great at loving myself and not caring about those around me I am called to serve.

Who you are—your frizz, your quirks, your imperfections—they were given to you so intentionally. Even your broken pieces are meant to bring greater glory to your creator. And it is out of this being that you have been equipped to thrive in the context where you currently find yourself.

That, my friend, is holy ground. There is not higher calling than to be yourself. There is also no other place that leaves us as vulnerable.

This is the risk we take, but it is also the freedom we find in living uncoated, plain, and holy lives.

The Already and Not Yet

Posted on November 28, 2016November 27, 2016 by Lex De Weese in Contentment, Lex's World

I have a confession to make and I’m not proud about it.

I am a sucker for Hallmark Christmas movies.

Yes, I know exactly how they are going to pan out about five minutes in. Yes, I understand that there are gaping plot holes in nearly everyone of them. Yes, I get that the writing is terrible—I’m all too aware. But still, it’s a guilty pleasure for my sister and I.

We will watch tons of them each year, looking for both the most ridiculous one, but also, the sweetest one.

But this past weekend, I latched on to the formula—and yeah, I’ve always known there was a formula. There was something oddly familiar about this formula though.

In each one, a big-city woman working in marketing, or advertising, or brand management (this is apparently a bad thing) who has lost sight of her dreams, is thrust in to small-town life where she happens upon a handsome single father and his precocious child. Charmed by both the town and the child, she begins to feel at home, lets down her walls, and rediscovers her childhood dream. In this starry-eyed state, she begins to fall for the single father and he for her. Her oh-so-wrong for her, rich fiancé comes on the scene (they have been separated by winter weather, clerical mix-up, or other forms of hi-jinx) and stirs doubt and maybe conflict between our heroine and single-dad. But all prevails on Christmas eve when the woman and her fiancé decide they are not destined to be together because she loves the small town and wants to pursue origami, or water color painting, or whatever her long-lost aspiration has been. She and single-dad run into each others arms, share a kiss, and precocious child gets a puppy. The end.

These movies are fun to watch, but they are so not about Christmas. Not really. For all the obvious reasons, but also for some not-as-obvious ones as well.

We have an inherit sense of how things are supposed to be—how we so desperately want them to be. Just like in a Hallmark movie, we want everything to be tied up in a nice little bow in the next hour and a half.

No threads left untied, no relationship not brought to rights, no issues outstanding.

But this is not reality.

Advent marks a celebration. Years of anticipation resulting in a savior being born to a world so desperately in need of him. And yet it also marks a deep longing.

We are brought face to face with the knowledge that all is taken care of. Our fate is sealed—we are rescued and renewed. And yet, we are not yet.

This is a season in which we are to be more aware of the already-but-not-yet state of our existence. This place where we live covered in righteousness, and yet still so in need of grace. This place where we watch brokenness pressing in on all sides, knowing that wholeness is there to be had, but not quite yet.

May you find the space to mourn what is not yet and to find joy in what has been freely given already.

Have a blessed Advent season here in the Already but Not Yet.

Bible College Spinster: Wringing This Season Dry

Posted on November 21, 2016November 21, 2016 by Lex De Weese in Lex's World

A few months ago, I discussed the concept of living deliberately. I discovered that there was a fine line between living life to its fullest and just doing for the sake of doing.

In this haze of fatigue and frustration, I found myself longing for not only purpose in how I was spending my time, but some passion. There was a desire to discover and pursue my gifts, and urgency to do what I loved, but to also love what was right in front of me.

A week ago, I sat through a talk on sloth. Yeah. Sloth.

And I always thought sloth was just laziness, but that is so not the essence of that word. It’s closer to an apathy, a despair, a restlessness in the face of what one knows to be true and not acting upon it. Complacency.

I think one of the greatest temptations I think one can fall into in this season of almost-but-not-yet is complacency. I’ve seen it too often when I look at my peers, when I look at myself.

Here’s the thing: God has placed you where you are and has presented the opportunities in front of you that he has with great purpose.

Want to live life deliberately? Take a risk on something right in front of you. Don’t let fear keep you stationary.

As I wrote in my previous post, you can’t do everything. But you also can’t do nothing.

So how do you find that thing? Here are some questions I’ve had to answer in the last six months that have helped me make some important decisions and changes:

What do you love about your life as it is right now? List those things out. Remember, nothing is too small.
Where you you imagine yourself in five years? Think details! Think calling!
- What about where you currently are is pointed in that direction?
- What, in your life currently, do you need to change to move toward this calling?
In what areas in your life have you felt the most joy?
In what areas in your life have you felt the most purpose?

Wrestling through these questions, I had the help of some olders in my life, but also some great books. I recommend taking a look at Restless by Jennie Allen and Present Over Perfect by Shauna Neiquist.
I pray you move forward rather than staying still. I pray God meets you as you search for purpose and fullness in a season we’ve been told for so long is just a waiting game.
There’s no waiting here. There is only you and God and the adventure he’s prepared for you.